Aging, money and the future can be difficult conversations to have with those you love, but they don’t have to be. Over time you can probably think back and recall someone who you know who had to manage a difficult situation due to an unexpected illness, emergency or death. Being prepared is key to managing your future and when it comes to your aging parents, having these difficult conversations ahead of time can change the future for both of you.
1. Medical History. While you are likely to know about any major illnesses your parents have, if they are living independently, you probably do not know all of their medical history. Discussing their medicines, doctors, allergies, and any naturopathic remedies they may be taking can be imperative in the case of an emergency. In addition, writing down their physicians names, numbers and how often they visit them will provide a good idea of the severity of their conditions.
2. Discuss Who is in Charge. Oftentimes with adult children involved there are conversations about who oversees different aspects regarding their aging parents. However, ultimately this is up to the parents to decide. Creating a meeting between all parties and having an open, honest discussion can avoid future conflict and allow everyone involved to be on the same page when it comes to future decision making. Sometimes this conversation prompts your parents to finally think through their Power of Attorney, beneficiaries and guardians or even update them if they already have one.
3. Future Wishes. Your goals are often not the same as those of your aging parents. While they understand the need for long term care, their wish may be to live in their home with a health aid as long as possible or, they could wish to move to a retirement community at a certain milestone in their life. Understanding their priorities, both medically and personally, is an imperative step to planning for their future and how they would like their end-of-life decisions made.
4. Managing Finances. Money and financial decisions are one of the leading causes of conflict in a family. As an adult child, you may not fully understand your parents’ investments, retirement accounts, and where they would like their money directed when the time comes. In addition, do they have a Will, Trust, or any other legal documents that will affect financial decisions? What about long term care? What will happen to their home and assets if an emergency arises? If these documents are not fully, legally recorded and put into place already, having this discussion and creating an action plan can prevent financial hardships down the road. For additional tips about managing financial decisions with your aging parents, this inclusive guide from Brookdale Senior Living lays out options and how to broach this discussion.
5. Their Current Situation. Perhaps your parents have many years until these plans are acted upon or, maybe the time is now. As a family, take time to discuss their current living situation, how long they feel comfortable where they currently are, when they feel it’s time to move on, and what adjustments may need to be made to keep them where they are. What are their wants, needs, and goals for the immediate future and long term? This is also a time to realistically discuss costs and what can, and cannot, be afforded to guide them to make the most effective decisions.
A Guide for Difficult Conversations.
While none of these conversations are easy, preparing for them and having a guide to help you along the way can create a seamless, stress-free environment. According to a recent post by the NY Times, “It feels like you’re putting them through something hard, but it’s avoiding something that is far, far worse.”
The Guardian’s Gift is a guide that is meant to ease the burden of caregivers and help those making decisions understand what is needed. From looking through past medical records, life stories, and memorabilia to filling out legal documents, Power of Attorneys and a Will, it is a singular solution to planning for your future while preserving your legacy. It is truly a living listening legacy estate experience. Our courses are offered through both a self guided approach, allowing you to work at your own timeline, or by hiring one of our legacy coaches to assist with working through various personal options and choices.
Don’t delay difficult conversations with your loved ones. Start today with the help of The Guardian’s Gift and rest assured that your family’s wishes are honored whatever stage of life you are in
